How to Change the Face of Adversity
Bad things happen to everyone, that’s for sure. But, what makes a situation bad? How is it possible that when someone is suffering from a situation, another one is happy about it? How can two people see -and therefore feel- different things from a same situation?
Things are the way they are. It is our own personal interpretation what gives different meanings to a same situation.
If you see the following image, ask yourself the following questions (then do the same for the next images):
- What do I see?
- What do I think about it? How would I label it?
- How do I feel about it?
Frame 1
Frame 2
Frame 3
Source: Robert Dilts' books on beliefs.
How did your thoughts and feelings change with every picture? The situation was always the same, it is you that changed, by changing the frame through which you look.
You see, how we think, feel and -therefore- what we do depend on the meaning we give to things. And meaning depends on how much of the situation we can see (our frame) and how well we interpret it. It is a matter of awareness. A negative situation is a positive one waiting for awareness to transform it. A “minus” is a “plus” waiting for a stroke of vertical awareness.
So how can we change our interpretations so that they stop limiting us and start working for us instead? Here are six powerful questions that will get us there:
- What did I do to get here? (take responsibility)
- What can I learn from this? (learn from adversity)
- What positive meanings can this have? (change the meaning / frame)
- Where do I want to go from here? (set new solution-oriented direction)
- How am I going to get there? (be strategic about it)
- What is the first action I can take right now? (act and let the learnings take place)
There you go. The awareness that you can get from answering these simple yet powerful questions will allow you to move past most problems, to learn from the past, to move from a problem-oriented way of thinking towards a solution-oriented one and to do all this in such a way that you will end up stronger and better prepared for the future.
You can now use this for current and future situations but also to revisit memories from the past. How you use your mind determines how happy you are and how much you grow, so go ahead, clean your past and transform your present and future.